


There Are Stranger Things Than Fanfiction

by morethanwords



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-23
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-09-26 09:07:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9878699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morethanwords/pseuds/morethanwords
Summary: He was like a breath of fresh air on even my darkest days… and some people go a lifetime without finding someone special like that.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So... I wrote this....

I closed the tab on my Facebook page.. feeling a little depressed. My feed was full of pictures of Darren’s raucous weekend, partying with his girl… which might be cute if he’d actually posted these pictures himself. I knew for a fact though that Darren never even used his Facebook.. didn’t care for it, but didn’t think twice about letting others post on it on his behalf. Darren’s girlfriend was a lot more savvy than he was… and what better way to remind me (his best friend) who Darren really belonged to…. than by posting smoochy, couple-y selfies of them having a touch- feely evening out. 

Darren and I became best friends when he joined the theatre company where I was already working as costume designer. He was taken on as one of the principal actors.. and although we’d moved in the same social circles before that, we didn’t really know each other all that well. He was a delight though.. from the outset. A charming selfless person who displayed none of the diva-esque qualities that a lot of actors seemed to display (and believe me, I’ve worked with many in the few years since I’ve been here). He would treat everyone with the exact same respect and kindness.. from the lowly work-experience stagehand to the directors of whatever we were working on at the current time. 

We got to know each other pretty well during the first production (a musical) the company did after Darren joined. He was the lead male.. and during the many costume fittings he had to endure while the show was in rehearsal we found that we just ‘clicked’. I’d be the first to admit that I sometimes found it hard to make real friends… friends I could be comfortable with… and the fact that I did feel comfortable with Darren was a lot more do to with him being so easy to get along with than anything else. But we found we had so much in common.. and shared the same sense of humour.. so by the time Darren was fully fitted for the show, we were buddies of the highest order. 

Of course I was in love with Darren… really, really in love with him.. and he was unlikely to feel the same way about me. And while it was heart achingly painful at times to be referred to by Darren as ‘my best bud’… I was honestly thankful to have him in my life. He was like a breath of fresh air on even my darkest days… and some people go a lifetime without finding someone special like that. The fact that I’d touched nearly every inch of his near naked body with my tape measure (including his inside leg) in my professional duties.. fuelling my dreams of wanting to lick and suck my way over his perfect form… made no difference.. we were ‘friends’. 

*********

If I really thought about it... I sometimes surprised myself with how I’d ended up doing this job. It had never been an ambition.. it was something I wasn’t even aware I was that good at. Of course, from a child, I’d always loved designing my own ‘fancy dress’ costumes for halloween and other occasions.. getting more wild and adventurous the older I got. Therefore, it was only when I was called in to help out the friend of a friend, type of thing, that I discovered my life long hobby could be extended to an actual job.. something people were actually paid money to do. Anything I didn’t know.. I just learnt as I went along.

My first love had been acting and singing.. and had never considered that I wouldn’t make a career from doing either or both (Oh the confidence of youth!).. and I guess if something came along.. who knows if I’d follow that path, even now. I sometimes took on small parts in the productions we were putting on.. but there wasn’t even time to consider doing more when I was in charge of making sure the whole theatre company were decked out in all the right gear.

Sometimes I wondered what would have happened if I hadn’t had this job… hadn’t met Darren. There’s the whole ‘you can’t help who you love’ philosophy.. and I’d hate to think of my life without him.. but I’d probably have saved myself a lot of heartbreak.

*********

I came in to work late Monday morning with a new determination. Enjoying my take out coffee from my favourite coffee shop, I deleted my Facebook app from my phone. I wasn’t enjoying it.. and there were plenty more personal ways of keeping in touch with the people who were important in my life. There were certain things I was powerless to change, but this was something I ‘could’ control… so why torture myself?

I also came to the decision that, for a while at least, I needed to distance myself a little from Darren. Nothing drastic.. I could never do that… but just maybe spend a little less time with him outside of work. Make myself try and spend time with other friends.. for my own sanity. Theoretically that was an excellent plan.. but Darren was very difficult to say ‘no’ to. Not his fault.. it was just that I loved him so very, very much.

As if to prove my point, Darren chose that moment to pop his head around the doorway of my workroom. His happy, bright face setting my heart thumping in that uncontrolled sort of way. A couple of days without seeing him.. and I’d missed him.

“Hey!” he said softly, coming in to the room. “I was hoping you’d be here already.”

“Oh?” I squeaked as he wrapped me in his arms.. giving me a lingering hug. I tried to snap out of my melancholy thoughts as I savoured the familiar smell of him… enjoying the warmth of his breath on my neck as he held me close. 

“Yeah.. I missed you. I mean.. I caught up with some friends I haven’t seen for a while, over the weekend.. and it was good.. had a few beers. Just something ‘my girl’ arranged. But…” Darren squeezed me a little tighter..laughing softly.. “you know how we were going to watch that series on Netflix?”

“Hmmm,” I murmured.. enjoying how Darren didn’t seem to want to let go of me.

“Well I’d just have liked to have had a lazy day on your couch… watching that… I love it when we do that sort of thing,” Darren told me.. eventually pulling away from me, but keeping his hands on my shoulders. 

I looked at him closely.. really looked… and he seemed kind of sad. “Is everything alright Darren?” I asked him worriedly. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“Yeah, man. I’m good,” he smiled.. in that way that made me want to give him everything, “ I was just hoping we could get together real soon.. to you know.. do that.”

“I’ll check my diary,” I smiled back at him.. my resolve slipping already.. knowing my diary was pretty much clear. There wasn’t much I wouldn’t cancel for him, even if I were already busy.

***********

Show opening night was always a big deal… this one being no exception. It could be likened to having a small child, where we’d all been there for the conception.. and we’d nurtured it with love and care like one big happy family, until this child was tonight, taking it’s shaky first steps. As with everything in theatre, it was an over the top sentiment… but the production meant the world to us, having been our life for the past few months.

Opening night audience contained many family and friends.. and although slightly biased, everyone loved the show. I felt so proud of everyone and honoured to have been a part of it… and Darren, well I know I’m definitely biased where he’s concerned, but he was just amazing.. a natural. I’ve often heard the expression that someone was born to do something, bandied about… but Darren truly was born to be on stage.

With purpose, I decided to ignore Darren’s girlfriend who was unable to arrive at any event without ‘making it all about her’. She’d arrived, virtually at curtain time.. strutting down the aisle with three of her girlfriends.. waving obnoxiously at Darren’s loyal fans who’d managed to get tickets for the show.. and seemed to adore her for.. well, just being associated with him… making sure to be noticed by a whole theatre of people who’d managed to be seated at a reasonable time. Don’t get me started!

After the show, I just really wanted to find Darren and tell him how amazing his performance had been.. better than any rehearsal I’d seen him in. I muscled my way past his girlfriend who was giggling with her friends outside his dressing room door. Of course I needed to make sure his costume was properly hung so nobody could stop me going in. 

“I’m going to make sure I reward him later for his wonderful performance tonight,” came his girlfriend’s snarky comment as my hand froze on the door handle… the thought of what she might be suggesting making my mind recoil.

“Well.. I’ll be sure to get my congratulations in now.. be the first,” I snapped.. going inside before I could see any reaction to what I’d said in the heat of the moment.

Darren’s costume was thrown over the chair in his room.. as he greeted me in his underwear.. his exhausted smile as radiant as ever. “You were amazing Dare,” I breathed as he threw his semi naked body into my arms. I could feel his exhilaration.. thrumming against my chest as we stood wrapped together for a long moment. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks,” he said softly.. his breath hot against my neck. “But it was a team effort. It wasn’t just me.”

“I’m pretty sure if our leading man had gone down.. we’d all have gone down. So in this instance it was all you.. even if we all helped get you there,” I told him sincerely as we pulled apart. “And your singing.. you really went the extra mile tonight. It really moved me.”

He nodded.. silent for a minute.. taking on board everything I told him. “I guess I should shower.. leading man obligations to fulfil,” he smiled, shrugging his shoulders. “Will you stay while I do?”

I’d have loved to have stayed. “Darren,” I chastised though. “I can’t. Your girlfriend is waiting on the other side of this door. At the very least.. I don’t think she’d like it, do you?” 

Darren shrugged again. “She’s coming to see the show every night.. I think. She has her friends with her tonight.. she knows we’re friends and that you work here. So…?”

“I still don’t think she’d like it.” I said.. pretty certain that she hated me being anywhere near Darren. Most of the time it was out of her control, but tonight she could probably throw her weight about, if she desired. “Is she really coming every night?” I asked incredulously, suddenly realising what Darren had said. “I thought her work was in LA at the moment.”

“She’s freelance,” Darren said quietly.. as if that explained everything. “Um.. I think there’s one night she can’t come.. and maybe the night when it’s her mom’s birthday..”

So many things I wanted to say.. always suspecting she may be freeloading on Darren. “She’s lucky,” I said instead, “lucky she can afford to take time out for this. I”m obviously in the wrong job.” The laugh I gave at the end.. to make sure Darren knew I was being light hearted, came out forced and strained, but I don’t suppose he noticed.

“Go shower,” I said quietly, reaching to tug his soft curls. “I’ll see you in the bar. Don’t take too long.” Everyone was probably crowding the bar upstairs already.. and I suddenly needed a drink. I picked up Darren’s costume to take to my workroom before heading there. I could sort out everyone else’s costumes later.

********

I lamented with my friend Lea a couple of mornings later over breakfast. She had become my confidant.. often helping me keep sane at times. She had already known Darren to some extent… their paths crossing in theatrical circles, herself also an actor on the broadway circuit.

“You can’t go on like this,” she told me seriously. “He can’t have it both ways. You’ve got to come clean and tell him how you feel. Either that or move on.. and not just a token effort. Change your job.. cut all ties.. and certainly no cuddly movie sessions in your apartment after hours.”

Both options made me feel sick.

“I’d rather have him as a friend than nothing at all,” I told her quietly.

“I know,” she smiled, an annoyingly pitying look on her face. “But you should have your own relationship… you deserve it. At the moment you’re just hanging on, waiting for Darren’s girlfriend to let him off the hook and allow him to do something on his own.”

“I don’t think I’m strong enough to cut all ties with him,” I told her honestly. “Much as it sounds a good idea.”

“You are.” She grasped my hand across the table, where we sat. “You just don’t know it.”

I chuckled wryly. “I’m glad you’ve got faith in me. But I disagree. My heart is already hurting at just at the thought of it.”

Lea smiled at me again, a glint in her eye. “There is one other idea.”

“Oh?” I questioned.. curious. 

“Make him jealous. You’re an actor at heart.. let him see what he’s missing. I adore Darren, but he really can’t have his cake and eat it.”

*********

I let Lea’s words rest with me for a few days. I’d always been strong and determined. Heavens, I could bitch glare anyone into submission if the occasion arose. It was only since I’d known Darren that I’d turned into a pathetic lovesick teenager.

I was deep in thought one afternoon, doing a few last minute costume repairs before the evening performance, when I was surprised to look up and see Darren’s girlfriend standing in the doorway of my workroom.

I couldn’t help the small start of surprise. “Can I help you?” I asked, keeping my voice civil. Despite not really wanting to make small talk with someone who clearly didn’t like me, I was also under time pressure to get things finished for the show… so my brusqueness wasn’t completely because of who was encroaching on my personal space.

She flashed me a smile, taking two steps into the room. Obviously mistaking my question for a ‘welcome’. “I just wanted to come and say ‘hi’… as I’m going to be around quite a lot.”

“So I heard,” I said, coolly… barely looking up from my work.

“I’m afraid Darren may be a little busy while I’m around… you know, after the show and that.”

“Keeping him on a tight leash?” I said sarcastically, choking out a false laugh.

“No. No way,” she bristled. “But I know he’ll want to spend time with me. Be the dutiful boyfriend. He probably won’t have time for any of those cosy evenings at your apartment, that I’ve heard about.”

I stopped working to look up and stare at her. I could easily lose it if I wasn’t careful, but I managed to keep under control. I wanted to keep my dignity. “I’ll leave that up to Darren,” I shrugged. “I’m not the only friend he socialises with.. and for the record, he spends time at my apartment when he invites himself over. Not that he isn’t welcome.”

I immediately began sewing again, struggling not to let my hand shake. I almost sagged in relief when I heard her sigh loudly, her bracelets clacking as she turned and left… her noisy heels clicking against the hard floor as she went. 

Unless she could read my treacherous mind, I didn’t understand why I was made out to be the bad guy here. I’d truly only ever tried to be a good friend to Darren.. to someone who was a good friend to me.

After, I felt so tense my teeth were hurting. I needed serious help. I needed a night out with Ashley.

********

I didn’t really like going out to bars… but Ashley insisted. “It’s a grown up bar,” she told me, “You know, civilised. Humour me.”

It seems Darren wasn’t the only one I couldn’t say ’no’ to. 

We shared a cab.. and I had to admit, I was looking forward to spending some time with her. Somehow she always managed to make me feel better about everything.. when things were getting me down. 

“Now, I don’t want you to get mad at me,” she said, looking a little guilty.

“Ashley,” I admonished, “What have you done. You know I’m not looking for a date, right?”

“Look.” She took my hand. “It’s nothing bad, I promise. There’s just a guy I’d like you to meet. Just keep an open mind.. that’s all I ask. There’s seriously no pressure though.”

“I’m not looking for a boyfriend,” I reaffirmed, suddenly feeling sick with nerves.

“I know, but you’re hung up on a guy who currently has a girlfriend. Just live a little… that’s all I ask.”

I knew she had the best of intentions, even if I didn’t like it. “Okay,” I agreed reluctantly, “Just don’t expect too much.”

*******

Despite my reluctance, ‘Phil’ actually turned out to be a really nice guy. He worked as a graphic designer for one of the major companies in the city.. and even though he didn’t work in the theatre industry, he did admit to loving it, all the same.. and had seen many of the shows that were playing on and off broadway. It was actually nice talking to someone who shared my love of theatre but was not actually directly involved in the industry for a change. It wasn’t long before I’d promised him a ticket to come and see ‘our’ show.

Once I’d stopped panicking and actually relaxed a little, I realised that I didn’t actually have to make myself romantically available to any guy who I met. I could be just friends with someone, enjoy their company.. and leave it at that for the present time. Broadening my friendship circle certainly wouldn’t do me any harm… and if things should change sometime in the future, then so be it.. but I had a lot of issues to work through first.

When Ashley spotted someone she knew, and left us alone for a few minutes.. I explained to Phil that I didn’t think I was ready for a relationship at the moment, but was more than happy to meet up now and again on a ‘friends’ basis. I decided being up front was best.. so that if he was looking for more, maybe he should move on.

I don’t know how much he knew of my current situation.. but he assured me was fine about that.. and was just happy to have another friend to go out with from time to time. He certainly didn’t want to ‘push’… and he was currently putting all his energy into establishing himself career wise, so socialising was just some ‘down’ time, if and when he had the chance. He almost sounded too perfect to be true… a perfect distraction.

*********

I invited Phil along to our show a few days later. It was our first get together after our initial meeting.. and I felt safe meeting up on familiar territory. It would probably get a few tongues wagging amongst the cast and crew, but I could live with that… these were my friends at the end of the day, and were people I knew I could depend on. 

I took him backstage to meet everyone after the show… a necessity after Phil had admitted he’d never seen ‘behind the scenes’ of any theatrical production before. He gazed in wonder as sweaty actors rushed past us, ready to strip out of their costumes and relieve themselves of their heavy makeup. I can remember from my own performances how, as soon as the show was over, I’d be wanting to wash off the thick foundation and let my skin breathe again. I missed it all like crazy now though.

Even though we were barely even friends, I didn’t stop Phil from loosely slipping his arm over my shoulder while we stood chatting to others.. leaning into him a little more when I saw Darren heading my way. I saw the hurt look in Darren’s eyes as he spotted the affectionate stance we posed.. then it was gone in a flash, Darren’s bright welcoming smile taking over his face. It was only because I knew him so well that I saw, because Darren was the consummate actor.. the very, very best because nobody else would have known. He made my guest feel more than welcomed.. inviting him to join us any time.. and by the time Darren left, giving me a gentle pat on the shoulder as he did so, Phil was grinning in amazement.

Several of us went to the bar a few doors along from the theatre, after. Just one drink.. and then everyone would be off.. as there was another show the next day. I was happy to see Darren come in through the door soon after Phil and I arrived.. striding ahead of his girlfriend.. her presence announced by the usual clacking of her bracelets and the shockingly garish colours of her outfit. In fact it was more of a costume put together by a small child, than an outfit.. and I’m sure she saw the look of distaste on my face as I surveyed her ‘look’.

Darren’s girlfriend glared at me as she caught my eye.. but I was used to that attention from her. It was water off a duck’s back to me. She squeezed herself alongside Darren where he stood at the bar, flicking her hair to gain his attention.. probably needing her nightly fix of alcohol. I almost felt sorry for her in that instant as I watched her.. she was just a pretty girl who tried too hard to be noticed… to be seen… 

I’d seen pictures of her and Darren together, back from when they first met.. and they both looked natural and beautiful.. an attractive couple. But now, her hair had been dyed so many times it just looked brittle and dry.. and I didn’t know what I disliked most about her outfit. Gold boots with fishnet tights.. or the low cut top with her bra peeking out the top… both aspects of what she was wearing, completely inappropriate for the occasion. Did she not own a mirror? Or was she really that oblivious? I admit I’m not known for my compliments, but I can’t believe I was the only one to think it.

**

Phil and I went our separate ways from the bar… Phil hugging me tightly before we left the building, thanking me a little more profusely than necessary for the great evening he’d enjoyed. He’d been good company though.. and I’d enjoyed treating him to a whole new experience. We promised we’d meet up again soon. 

********

I was back into work the next morning. Costumes needed cleaning and repairing.. and I liked to have plenty of time to assess what needed doing… plus I always loved the theatre when it was calm and free of people… so I was actually quite happy to have an excuse to go there. The cast had to work just as hard as me, in other ways… relentlessly giving interviews.. early morning tv and radio shows.. trying to make stock answers to stock questions sound interesting.. but they were actors after all, so maybe not as impossible as it sounded.

I hummed to myself as I looked over Darren’s costume.. a small noise startling me. I looked up to see Darren standing in my doorway, two hot drinks in hand, looking a little sleepy and unkempt… but gorgeous all the same.

“Goodness.. “ I startled, “I thought I was the only one here.”

“Sorry,” he said softly, coming further into the workroom. “You don’t mind, do you?”

“Of course not,” I smiled. “Especially as I can see you’re bearing coffee.” I eagerly took my offered drink.. careful not to pass it anywhere near the costume laid out on my table. “Thank you.. I’ve been regretting not picking one up on my way in.”

“I don’t want to get in your way,” he said. “I know you’re probably busy.”

“I’ve got time for you,” I told him honestly, gesturing for him to take a seat in the small comfy armchair. “Always, got time for you.”

“Thanks.. I didn’t like to assume,” he grinned. “Does that mean I’m your favourite?”

“Of course you are,” I said lightheartedly, but meaning every word. “You on your own this morning?”

“Um… yeah. She went out after, with her friend Gemma… probably sleeping it off at Gemma’s place.”

“Oh?” I raised my eyebrow.. probably a bit too judgementally.. but things felt a little ‘off’. “After we’d been to the bar last night?” I questioned.. just to be clear. “Does that sort of thing happen often?”

Darren shrugged, a rare blush on his face… his big eyes looking sadder than I think I’d ever seen before. Whatever was going on, I wanted to personally strangle anyone who could put a look like that on his face. I wished I could kiss away all the pain in those eyes. I sighed to myself as I realised I was still hopelessly in love with this guy.

“Darren?” I called his attention. “You know you can talk to me, right?”

He nodded. “I know.. and you can tell me anything too Chris.”

I smiled thoughtfully.. we both had things we were probably holding back from each other.. but I could hardly tell Darren how in love with him I was, could I? “Yeah.. thanks. But seriously, anything you tell me… I promise I wouldn’t tell a soul, if you didn’t want me to. Just between you and me… okay?”

I watched Darren take a mouthful of his drink.. tea probably.. almost missing when he started speaking, he was so quiet. “Can I come round after the show tonight? If your friend wouldn’t mind.. if you’re not seeing your friend..”

“Phil 'is' only a friend,” I told him. “He’s a nice guy.. and if I’m being honest he’s also keeping my concerned girlfriends off my back for the time being. They’re more concerned with my love life.. or lack of… than their own. And of course you can come home with me.. I’d love it if you did.”

“Good. Thanks.” Darren definitely looked brighter. He threw his cup in the trash, getting up out of his chair… heading round my side of the table.

“You off already?” I virtually squeaked as he headed towards me… finding myself hugged in his arms. 

“I’ve a few errands to run before tonight,” he told me.. his breath hot on my neck… making me shiver involuntarily. “I love you Chris. So much. And… yeah.. I’ll see you later.”

Then he was moving away and out the door with a quick movement, throwing another “see you later” at me on his way.

“I love you too,” I whispered after his retreating body.

*********

I blinked several times.. taking in the sight before me. I’d been working for several hours.. and was feeling tired.. and had to check I wasn’t seeing things. But gracing the entrance to my workroom (again) was Darren’s sidekick.. wearing a fake leather dress, so tight it was itching to ride up back over the curve of her hips. Heavy boots completed the look.

“What are you even wearing?” The words were out of my mouth before I realised what I was saying.

She pulled the hem of her dress down self consciously. “I know you don’t like me,” she said defensively, swaying slightly, “but being Darren’s significant other, I deserve a lot more respect.”

“Well, you don’t seem to like me much either,” I commented dryly, “and for the record, ‘respect’ has to be earned.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Where’s Darren?” she slurred, affirming my suspicions that she’d either been drinking, or was still getting over her heavy night last night.

“No idea,” I said, going back to my work. Deciding this conversation was over. I was just glad that wherever Darren was, he was hopefully far away from here.

*********

I can remember the day I first found out that Darren had a girlfriend, quite clearly. I’d known him several months by then.. and we’d pretty much got ourselves into the routine of spending a lot of our spare time together. By then I’d met Darren’s parents and brother at least twice.. and he’d met my parents and my sister.. and although we ‘were’ only friends, he already meant the world to me.

Then Darren’s agent had stepped up a gear and hired him a public relations manager, and everything changed.

I hadn’t realised how much hope I’d been holding out that maybe one day we could be more than friends, until I heard the words..

“My girlfriend’s coming to live here.”

“We’ve been together for three years.”

We’d been having breakfast at my local coffee shop at the time.. and I was too shocked to even wonder why I’d never heard any mention of a girlfriend before.. a longterm girlfriend at that. I pleaded a headache.. barely making it home. For the first time ever I took two days off sick from work.. two days to pull myself back together to face the world again.

******** 

After the show, back at my apartment, I could see Darren was tired. We’d chatted.. laughing mainly about all the disasters that had almost happened in the show… but had been adverted at the last minute. If only the public knew what went on behind the scenes. We’d eaten Italian tonight… and were fully stuffed.

“You look tired,” I commented. “What would you like to do? I can put Netflix on in my room.”

“Sure… I’d love that.” Darren took hold of my hand.. looking down where our fingers were linked. “In a minute.. we can do that in a minute. I um…. I went for an audition today..”

“Oh.. you did?” I asked, a little surprised that he hadn’t mentioned anything. “How did it go?”

“Okay.. I think,” he smiled. “It’s for a tv show. One I’ve wanted to be involved with since I first heard about it… never dreaming that I’d realistically get this far. There’s been a buzz about this show for over a year now… and my agent seemed to think I stood a chance..”

“Oh wow. That’s good..” It was good, but I wasn’t sure why had a bad feeling about what I was being told. Darren wasn’t looking quite as happy as I would have expected him to, for starters.

“It’s not just getting a part in a show,” Darren told me, wrapping his other hand over the top of our joined hands.. twisting his body to face me a bit more… squeezing our hands gently. “These big television networks want to control your life and the image you present to the outside world. It doesn’t stop when the cameras stop rolling.”

I nodded. “They want your soul,” I whispered. “I’ve heard stories…”

“I’d have to sign contracts. When I was in college I thought I’d give anything to be a successful actor. Now, I’m not so sure I think my happiness is a price worth paying.”

Darren looked just so cut up about everything. “Having to live a lie would be a difficult choice,” I told him.. pulling him in for a hug. The hand holding had been nice, but we needed more.

He came willingly, burying his face in my neck. “That’s already what I’m doing.. and I haven’t even signed anything yet. I’m secretly hoping I don’t get the part.. just so I don’t have to make a decision.”

“You have a gorgeous girlfriend… doesn’t that make you ideal for the type of actor they’d want?” It wasn’t time to tell Darren what I really though of his girlfriend. 

Darren sat back up. “It seems that if I’m a straight male, I’m more of a marketable commodity. But the truth is I’ve dated both boys and girls in high school and college… but I’ve loved you since the day we met.” He cupped my face between his hands… leaning towards me.. pressing his lips against mine. “I’m in love with you,” he stated.

My whole body tingled. My heart was thumping as I clung on to Darren’s shoulders. “I don’t think I could hide how much in love with you I am, even if I tried,” I admitted… scared that now I’d said the words out loud, I’d have a long way to fall when this all went wrong… 

But the other part of me was tired of fighting and pretending. I just wanted to let go. “Please.. Darren… take me to bed… Please… ” I didn’t seem to be in control of my own words.

“Yeah? I’d love to,” Darren’s bright reassuring smile which had been absent for a lot of the evening, was back. “I know you so well on many levels… and you’re beautiful… and I really, really want to hear what you sound like when you come,” he told me.. his voice unusually husky.

********

We shared gentle kisses.. becoming a little more urgent as we shed clothes… until I was naked and panting desperately into Darren’s mouth. I wanted to touch and feel this beautiful man… but as soon as Darren wrapped his strong warm hand around my cock, I could do little more than writhe in the sheets… and give in to the feeling overwhelming my whole body. 

I was still shaky and overcome as I made my way down Darren’s body with my hands and my lips.. sinking my mouth down over his gorgeous cock with a guttural moan of pleasure… feeling as if I’d been waiting for this moment for my whole life. Darren’s fingers threading through my hair as I slowly reduced him to a whimpering wreck.

Later, we snuggled together… Darren’s body fitting perfectly against mine. I already knew then, we wouldn’t be able to give this up easily.

********

The next week was full of late night rendezvous and little sleep, both of us running on sexual adrenaline. Opening our bodies to each other, but closing our minds to the future. I’d thought I was in love with Darren before, but that was nothing to how I felt now. 

Our next day off… we knew we had to talk. I felt so sorry for Darren being the one who had to make the difficult decisions. I could accept him into my life easily. It would make no difference to my job… and if I decided to give acting and singing a serious go… well, I couldn’t really hide the fact that I was gay.. not that I’d want to.

Our first attempt at talking was over breakfast, sitting at my small kitchen table.. both of us quickly in tears at the thought of not being able to make things work. I ended up riding Darren, right there on the kitchen chair, desperate and possessive… as if it was our last time together.

After a long shower we were calm enough to start again. This time we decided to go for a walk. Central Park was so nice at this time of year.. and there was less chance of us both ending up naked.

In the end, it was all simple. We didn’t know what the future held for sure, but we could at least plan for the short term. All we knew was that we wanted to be together, one way or another. Darren had a girl to hang on his arm at public events… and for now, I had a friend who was interested in anything theatrical and who I knew wouldn’t mind being my ‘platonic’ date as and when occasions arose, diverting any suspicions that Darren and I might be ‘together’.

It wasn’t a perfect solution… definitely not, but it could give us some breathing space.. and it meant that the man I love could come home to me.. to my arms and my bed… at the end of each day.


End file.
